Lessons Stress dependency

Stress dependency

Stress dependency is a very broad topic. It is something that I have seen many times in life and experienced myself. I am convinced that a person can develop a dependency on absolutely anything. Because adaptation, again, human adaptation, is the number one reason why we as a species dominate this planet.

I suggest determining the current level. That is, how you reached your current state regarding stress and adaptation. What happened? It happened that you were born, grew up, and were able to adapt to the situation. That is, you learned to speak the language you are speaking. You learned to behave in a way that doesn't make you stand out from the crowd. In other words, you became average among your surroundings.

And this, as the well-known saying goes, is that children are not raised by their parents; they are raised by the village. That is, every person you have met in your life has contributed to your formation, whether you like it or not.

And despite the fact that I am a somewhat established adult, the fact that I saw a homeless man's head at the age of five, right on the street when I was living in the 90s in Kazakhstan, in the capital, in a good area, but there were homeless people, alcoholics, drug addicts, and I saw syringes, that has not gone anywhere. And that became part of my formation, so to speak. I can't throw it out of my head because it happened. That means, no methodology will help me forget it. It's part of my life, yes.

So, the question is, if I adapted to stress, if you adapted to stress, yes, the question is, at what stage will this adaptation become redundant? And will it become redundant? And how can you determine if it is redundant or not? This is a very open question, and I suggest you think about it.

Furthermore, can you live a day without stress? Can you live a week without stress? Can you, in principle, live without stress? And again, it might sound quite strange, but think about it, look at your surroundings and see who among the people you know lives without stress, and when was the last day they lived without stress.

In life, it happens that, as you live, live, and seem to live thoughtlessly, enjoying life like a child, a teenager, if you have a more or less stable situation.

But then this responsibility, this load comes, and you kind of immerse yourself in stress in life, in the cycle, and then you don't get out of it, and then, when you are already an adult, after some time, a few years, you look back, and you don't understand how you got into all this, how it all happened, and why time passed so quickly.

When was the last time you rested, what was the most relaxing moment in the last 5 years, 10 years, your entire life?

Looking back, was any stress, which was the most severe or one of the most severe moments in your life, worth it?

Because it happens very often that people worry about their situation more than the situation actually represents itself.

I always hear from people that some trivial, ordinary things, like simply going to get a US visa, cause huge stress in people.

And it always makes me laugh, that is, I never experienced such stress from such silly things because in the case of refusal, it absolutely won't take anything away from you.

You spend a couple of hundred dollars, a little time, and that's it.

But the upside of it is big, that is, it's an asymmetric risk, you spend a small amount of time, a small amount of money, and you get a huge, yes, potential, in the end.

And this is one of those deals that need to be taken in life, yes, endlessly. And it wasn't even I who invented it; it’s just a well-known fact that large businessmen, legends of business, titans of industries. If you have an 80% probability of winning, you should take such a risk every time, because over a long period of time, you will simply multiply your resources, your capital hundreds of times.

And the most important thing, why we are talking about stress, because everything that is overshadowed by stress, it is actually a replacement for good pastime, yes, quality life.

And quality life, in my understanding, is time with yourself, time with your children, time of emptiness, in Sasha's opinion, and time, so to speak, alone with yourself, with God, with the Universe, with your nature, yes.

This is more important and more valuable than anything else, we must remember this.

What is stress?

Stress is an acquired habit, I am convinced.

The stress of the land, that is, yes, the place where you live, includes nature, climate, and food.

Then the stress of the people, what your people went through.

As an ethnic Kazakh, I understand that the Kazakh people were oppressed several times, and we are all products of this stress, whether you like it or not, wherever you are. I have already been outside Kazakhstan for five years, and I still understand that it has not gone anywhere, and it will stay.

That is, there is a minimization, of course, but it is still part of it, fully avoiding it is impossible, in my opinion.

Family stress, yes, that is, in the guardian system where you grew up, your mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, if there was an alcoholic in the family, this definitely affects the stress and life and understanding of the person who grew up and formed in that environment, yes.

Patterns are acquired, and it is very difficult even in adulthood, consciously, to get rid of patterns, so therapy is a necessary work everyone should go through to some extent, just to understand and grasp what they had in their life.

Collectively, the lifestyle where you live, what you do, the environment you revolve around, undoubtedly affects you at the very first level, yes, it is the first layer, one could say, of your life activity.

We are in a long-trail measurement, not the first people on the planet, but descendants of descendants of descendants. We are on a very long trail, a statistical long trail, where the first people were. They reproduced, and at the end of this trail, we are. We are in this enormous statistical impossibility. Under any other circumstances, we could not be reproduced. What is now in our life, who we are, this state of the world is the long trail.

There is a theory of multi-dimension, where every decision in the Universe is a new dimension. We are now living in the 100 trillionth dimension. It is suggested to determine at most what was at the beginning of our trail, and it is most likely limited by our parents, great-grandparents. We need to understand where these people came from, where they were going, what they were doing, why they were doing it, and how it reflected on us.

If you have an understanding of your ancestors, your father, your grandfather, and you can realize who they were, what they did, it will help you understand your nature. Genetics is undoubtedly important, but trauma is also important. By rewinding back, we can start thinking from first principles and realize who we are. This is just a hint from the universe that can be helpful. You don't have to take all of this too seriously, but having this data is an advantage.

Stress of the land, stress of the people, stress of the environment, the place where you grew up or had to live, can cause stress. But that’s not your stress; you likely absorbed it. This is called introjection when we absorb attitudes and at the right moment need to extract and see if they are needed. This is internal work that needs to be done.

Stress of the environment and its regulation are important. For example, an IT professional may decide to quit highly paid work due to its meaninglessness and stress. This can cause a dichotomy because on one hand, all the people you grew up with would be grateful for such an opportunity, but on the other hand, you realize it's just not yours. You should follow your instincts and desires. This can be stressful but needs to be regulated despite the high cost.

You need to prioritize yourself and make your state a priority. For example, for a billion dollars, it’s not worth going back to school and sitting through all the classes. After that, you may not need to be released to people. You need to think and determine for yourself what state you are not willing to enter under any circumstances.

Determining how dependent we are on stress. When you enter a mindset, whatever that mindset is, it becomes the norm. We enter this state, this norm, and we stay there if we do not adhere to a certain protocol, do not work on ourselves. The stress norm of the people around you leads you to be like them. If you were not like them, you wouldn't be with them.

You need to determine how to get out of this state, how to conduct an extraction, how to evacuate yourself from such a situation. Poverty in minds, stress in minds, deficit in minds, all of this is explained by a simple definition that reality does not exist. Reality is different for everyone; we all have our eyes, and we all experience a different world.

Mindset.

We need to get to the root of the stress. The problem of X, Y is that a person does not understand the source of the problem and tries to eliminate the side effects of the source. It is necessary to treat not the consequences of stress. If, for example, alopecia arises, you need to treat the cause of alopecia, eliminate whatever caused the alopecia. Then the alopecia will heal.

We begin to think that maybe we feel bad, maybe our activity does not bring pleasure, maybe we live not where we would like to, maybe the surrounding people exert a negative influence on us. Thus, we simplify our life and rearrange it.

There is a video on how to reset yourself to zero, to factory settings, where we can go to zero and start living again. Dopamine regulation is important; we do not add extra dopamine, remove the phone, use a black and white screen, remove unnecessary stimuli from the environment so that we can maintain a low, non-jumping level. This allows us to focus and be creative.

Setting up the environment, setting up your signals from the outside, not adding extra stress. All these long-term strategies, like marathons, can lead to increased cortisol levels. Therefore, it is suggested to engage in sprints instead of long runs, to live by a flexible schedule rather than a full-time basis.

A person is not designed to work by the same schedule. If a person works for a long time by the same schedule, he may enter a circle the size of the cage he lived in. Even if he now lives in a large aviary or in the wild, he can limit himself to this circle.

Those who have worked a full workday for a long time may continue to live by a 5 by 2 schedule even if they haven't worked a full workday for a long time. This is not something to have. If acquired, it must be immediately dropped because it can stay for life. It takes a lot of time to make a rollback, especially in adulthood.

Defining a stress problem entails defining the working level that will be acceptable for long-term functioning. This level should allow us to live, achieve goals, solve problems, and be productive. This is achieved through a process of reassembly, similar to resetting to factory settings. All unnecessary things disappear, leaving only what is truly important.

This process requires discipline and determination, which are important in any case. This leads to health and well-being by prioritizing self-being. By putting your being above all else, you rid yourself of everything that negatively affects you, optimizing your life.

There comes a certain moment when you need to stop tolerating and start acting. This is the time to cut off all unnecessary things. This is a struggle, an expenditure of energy, which contradicts the law of conservation of energy and resource optimization. Simplifying life leads to longevity.

Observing people managing large assets, you can notice a tendency toward minimalism. People get rid of unnecessary things, realizing that their value is often overestimated. We are moving towards a society where experiences are valued over owning things.

This trend is actively spreading and will continue to spread. Large assets, such as real estate and cars, are becoming less important to the younger generation. They prefer technological purchases and travel. Life experience becomes more important than things.

Ultimately, life experience, travel, visiting different places and events become more important than material things. This is especially true for people under 40.

Simplifying life, mastering investment skills and managing one's resources are key aspects of successful development. These resources can be different and do not always represent material values.

There is social capital, competence capital. For example, a person with professional skills in design may have capital worth more than a million dollars. Money can be lost, but skills and knowledge always remain with a person as long as he retains the ability to think and learn.

All these factors present in our life are tools for solving problems. Having a solution to every problem automatically reduces the level of stress. Stress, by definition, arises when we face an unsolvable problem. If the problem is solvable, stress does not arise.

It is important to always control your actions, not go beyond the permitted and your budget. It is necessary to keep yourself in the right mood.

Optimizing and getting rid of your complexes and traumas helps to maintain this mood. Everything unnecessary in life is a reflection of unprocessed trauma. Processing and overcoming trauma lead to a reduction in stress.

When stress goes away, space is created for other, more productive activities. Therefore, it is important to assess your perception of the world, life, being above money, and other material values.


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